Trauma and Healing
Trauma and Healing
Section titled “Trauma and Healing”This guide provides psychological support for those affected by ICE encounters, family separation, detention, and deportation. While a licensed mental health professional is always preferable, we recognize that access to care is often limited. This guide offers research-based coping strategies you can use immediately.
Understanding Trauma Responses
Section titled “Understanding Trauma Responses”What Trauma Looks Like
Section titled “What Trauma Looks Like”After an ICE encounter, detention, deportation, or family separation, you or your loved ones may experience:
Immediate reactions:
- Shock, numbness, or disbelief
- Intense fear or panic
- Confusion or difficulty concentrating
- Anger or irritability
- Crying or emotional overwhelm
- Physical symptoms (racing heart, nausea, trembling)
Ongoing symptoms:
- Flashbacks or intrusive memories
- Nightmares
- Hypervigilance (always on edge, scanning for threats)
- Avoidance of reminders
- Difficulty sleeping or eating
- Depression or hopelessness
- Anxiety or panic attacks
- Guilt or shame
- Withdrawal from others
The Science of Trauma
Section titled “The Science of Trauma”Research from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network shows that:
- Immigration enforcement is classified as an Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) that increases lifetime risk of physical and mental illness
- Even the threat of separation generates profound emotional harm
- Children in mixed-status families live with chronic anticipatory anxiety
- Trauma from forced separation can cause lifelong impacts including PTSD, depression, and anxiety
The American Psychiatric Association states: “Any forced separation is highly stressful for children and can cause lifelong trauma.”
Immediate Coping: Psychological First Aid
Section titled “Immediate Coping: Psychological First Aid”Psychological First Aid (PFA) is the mental and emotional equivalent of medical first aid—a practical approach to help cope with distress after a traumatic event.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
Section titled “The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique”When you’re overwhelmed, use your senses to anchor yourself to the present moment. This technique is recommended by Psychology Today and Therapist Aid:
- Breathe deeply and slowly
- Name 5 things you can SEE (the floor, a chair, your hands, a window, a light)
- Name 4 things you can TOUCH (your clothing, the chair beneath you, the ground under your feet, your own skin)
- Name 3 things you can HEAR (traffic, breathing, a clock, voices)
- Name 2 things you can SMELL (air, food, soap, anything nearby)
- Name 1 thing you can TASTE (your mouth, coffee, water)
This works because it redirects your brain from traumatic memories to the present moment.
Physical Grounding Techniques
Section titled “Physical Grounding Techniques”From the SAMHSA Trauma-Informed Care guide:
| Technique | How to Do It |
|---|---|
| Stomp your feet | Press your feet into the ground several times. Feel the contact. |
| Clench and release | Make tight fists, hold for 5 seconds, release. Repeat 10 times. |
| Hold ice | Hold an ice cube in your hand. Focus on the cold sensation. |
| Splash cold water | On your face and wrists. The shock helps reset your nervous system. |
| Touch textures | Run your fingers over different surfaces—rough, smooth, soft. |
| Carry a grounding object | A smooth stone, a meaningful item, something with texture to touch when distressed. |
Self-Talk Scripts
Section titled “Self-Talk Scripts”When overwhelmed, say to yourself (out loud if possible):
“My name is [your name]. I am safe right now. I am in [location]. Today is [date]. Nothing is hurting me in this moment. I am going to be okay.”
“This feeling will pass. I have survived hard things before. I can survive this too.”
“What I’m feeling is a normal response to something terrible. I am not crazy. I am not weak. I am coping.”
When to Use These Techniques
Section titled “When to Use These Techniques”Use grounding when you’re:
- Having a flashback or intrusive memory
- Feeling disconnected from your body (dissociation)
- Overwhelmed with panic or anxiety
- Frozen and unable to move or think
- Waking from a nightmare
- Triggered by a reminder (sirens, uniforms, certain sounds)
For Those Who Experienced an ICE Encounter
Section titled “For Those Who Experienced an ICE Encounter”Processing What Happened
Section titled “Processing What Happened”If you witnessed or experienced an ICE raid, arrest, or encounter:
Acknowledge your experience:
- You went through something terrifying
- Your fear was (and may still be) real and justified
- You don’t have to “get over it” quickly
- Healing takes time
Common feelings:
- Fear it will happen again
- Guilt about what you did or didn’t do
- Anger at the injustice
- Helplessness or powerlessness
- Shame (even when you did nothing wrong)
- Hypervigilance and paranoia
What helps:
- Talk to someone you trust about what happened
- Write about your experience (journaling can help process trauma)
- Maintain routines (eating, sleeping, daily activities)
- Limit news and social media that triggers you
- Move your body (walking, stretching, any movement helps process stress)
- Connect with community—you are not alone
Avoiding Re-traumatization
Section titled “Avoiding Re-traumatization”- You don’t have to relive the experience to heal
- It’s okay to avoid detailed discussions if it’s too painful
- Set boundaries with people who ask insensitive questions
- Take breaks from advocacy work if it’s overwhelming
- Limit exposure to news about immigration enforcement
For Family Members Left Behind
Section titled “For Family Members Left Behind”Understanding Your Grief
Section titled “Understanding Your Grief”If a family member has been detained or deported, you are experiencing a unique form of grief—ambiguous loss. Unlike death, your loved one is alive but inaccessible. This creates:
- Frozen grief: Inability to fully mourn because they might return
- Chronic uncertainty: Not knowing when or if you’ll reunite
- Role confusion: Adjusting to their absence while hoping for return
- Guilt: Feeling guilty for continuing life without them
Research from UC Davis documents that families experience deportation as “traumatic” and feel their life “ended” at that moment.
Coping Strategies for Family Members
Section titled “Coping Strategies for Family Members”Allow yourself to grieve:
- Cry when you need to
- Feel angry—your anger is justified
- Don’t let anyone tell you to “move on” before you’re ready
Maintain connection:
- Schedule regular video calls (see Maintaining Family Connections below)
- Share photos and videos
- Send voice messages
- Create rituals (watching the same show together virtually, praying together, eating “together” on video)
Take care of yourself:
- This isn’t selfish—you can’t care for others if you’re depleted
- Eat, even when you don’t feel like it
- Sleep, even if it’s difficult
- Accept help from others
Build support:
- Connect with other families in similar situations
- Join support groups (many exist online)
- Don’t isolate yourself
For Those Who Have Been Deported
Section titled “For Those Who Have Been Deported”The Unique Pain of Forced Return
Section titled “The Unique Pain of Forced Return”If you’ve been deported, you may be experiencing:
- Disorientation: Being in a place you left, possibly long ago
- Culture shock: Even in your country of origin
- Profound loss: Missing your family, home, community, life
- Shame: Social stigma around deportation
- Depression: Research shows severe depression is common
- Identity crisis: Who are you now?
One mother interviewed by researchers described feeling that her life “ended” at deportation. She experienced severe depression and didn’t leave her home for two years.
Surviving Alone
Section titled “Surviving Alone”Your feelings are valid:
- It’s okay to not be okay
- Missing your family is not weakness
- Feeling lost is a normal response to an abnormal situation
Basic survival priorities:
- Safety: Find a safe place to stay
- Basic needs: Food, water, shelter, hygiene
- Connection: Reach out to anyone you can trust
- One day at a time: Don’t try to figure out your whole life. Just today.
Building a life again:
- Seek out community organizations that help deportees
- Look for employment—meaningful work helps recovery
- Establish routines, no matter how small
- Find one person you can talk to honestly
Maintaining family connection:
- Regular video calls help maintain bonds (research shows video has nearly the same effect as physical presence for young children)
- Send photos and voice messages daily
- Be present virtually for important moments (birthdays, milestones)
- Write letters—physical mail can be meaningful
Mental Health Resources Abroad
Section titled “Mental Health Resources Abroad”Many countries have:
- Free or low-cost mental health clinics
- Community health centers
- Religious organizations offering counseling
- NGOs supporting deportees
- Online therapy options (sometimes more affordable internationally)
Search for mental health services in your country + “deportee support” or “migrant support.”
Supporting Children Through Trauma
Section titled “Supporting Children Through Trauma”How Children Show Distress
Section titled “How Children Show Distress”Children show trauma differently at different ages. According to the Hispanic Research Center:
| Age | Common Signs |
|---|---|
| 0-5 years | Excessive crying, regression (bedwetting, thumb-sucking), severe separation anxiety, eating/sleeping problems |
| 6-12 years | Withdrawal, anger/aggression, academic problems, physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches), fear of leaving caregiver |
| 13-18 years | Depression, anxiety, risk-taking behaviors, substance use, isolation, suicidal thoughts, anger, academic decline |
How to Help Children
Section titled “How to Help Children”Based on guidance from NCTSN:
For all ages:
- Maintain routines: Regular meals, bedtimes, and daily schedules provide stability
- Physical affection: Hugs, holding hands, physical comfort
- Patience: Children may regress, act out, or have mood swings
- Validation: Their feelings are real and okay
- Honest communication: Age-appropriate truth (see below)
- One consistent adult: Having at least one stable, caring adult is the most protective factor
What to say:
- “I know this is scary. I’m here with you.”
- “It’s okay to feel sad/angry/scared.”
- “We are going to get through this together.”
- “What happened is not your fault.”
- “I love you, and that will never change.”
What NOT to say:
- “Everything is fine” (when it’s not—children know when you’re lying)
- “Don’t cry / Be strong / You need to be brave”
- “You’re the man/woman of the house now”
- “It’s not that bad”
Being Honest Without Traumatizing
Section titled “Being Honest Without Traumatizing”From the ASU Center for Education Policy:
“False reassurance, for example, telling a child everything is fine, can backfire. Children sense when things aren’t okay. It’s better to be honest in an age-appropriate way and validate their fears.”
For young children (3-7):
“Daddy had to go away. He loves you very much. It wasn’t his choice and it isn’t your fault. We’re going to talk to him on the phone and see his face on the screen. We all miss him.”
For older children (8-12):
“Mom was taken by immigration officers. We’re doing everything we can to help her. This is very hard and it’s okay to be upset. Let’s talk about how you’re feeling.”
For teenagers:
Be more direct. They likely understand more than you think. Include them in family discussions and decisions where appropriate. Let them help.
Helping Children Maintain Connection
Section titled “Helping Children Maintain Connection”Research from the University of Minnesota shows technology can help maintain family bonds during separation:
- Schedule regular video calls: Same time each day or week
- Age-appropriate communication: Younger children may need shorter, more frequent calls
- Read bedtime stories together: Over video call
- Watch shows or movies together: Each viewing on their own device but “together”
- Send photos and videos: Of daily life, not just special occasions
- Record messages: The child can replay when they miss the parent
- Virtual presence at events: Birthdays, school events, sports games
Maintaining Family Connections
Section titled “Maintaining Family Connections”Technology for Staying Connected
Section titled “Technology for Staying Connected”| Platform | Best For | Privacy Level | Phone # Required? |
|---|---|---|---|
| SimpleX | Most private, works on wifi-only devices | Highest | No |
| Signal | Secure messaging, voice, video | High | Yes |
| Jitsi Meet | Video calls, no account needed, open source | High | No |
| FaceTime | iOS users, good quality | Medium | Apple ID |
| Popular internationally (see warning below) | Medium | Yes |
Setting up communication for children:
- Install SimpleX on your phone and the child’s device (iPad, tablet, old phone)
- Create a direct connection by scanning QR codes
- Practice: Have child send you a test message from school or a friend’s house
- Teach them: “If you ever need to reach [parent], open SimpleX and send a message”
Tips for video calls:
- Make it a ritual at the same time
- Prepare the child beforehand (“We’re going to call Daddy in 10 minutes”)
- Let children lead the conversation
- Do activities together (draw, play games, read)
- Keep it positive but honest
- Allow the child to end the call when ready
Communication Plans
Section titled “Communication Plans”Create a communication plan that includes:
- Regular schedule: When you’ll communicate
- Backup methods: If one platform doesn’t work
- Emergency contacts: How to reach each other in emergencies
- Important information sharing: How you’ll discuss big decisions, health issues, money
- Children’s involvement: How often and in what way children will communicate
Getting Professional Help
Section titled “Getting Professional Help”When to Seek Professional Help
Section titled “When to Seek Professional Help”Seek professional mental health care if you or a family member:
- Has thoughts of suicide or self-harm
- Cannot function (get out of bed, eat, work, care for children)
- Is using substances to cope
- Has persistent symptoms that aren’t improving after several weeks
- Is experiencing severe depression, panic attacks, or dissociation
- Is a child showing severe distress
Finding Affordable Care
Section titled “Finding Affordable Care”Free or low-cost options:
- Community mental health centers
- Federally Qualified Health Centers (FQHCs)
- University training clinics
- Religious organizations
- Support groups (in-person or online)
- Crisis hotlines
Hotlines:
| Resource | Number/Contact |
|---|---|
| National Suicide Prevention Lifeline | 988 |
| Crisis Text Line | Text HOME to 741741 |
| SAMHSA Helpline | 1-800-662-4357 |
| National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) | 1-800-950-6264 |
Trauma-Informed Care
Section titled “Trauma-Informed Care”When seeking help, look for providers who offer trauma-informed care—treatment that:
- Recognizes trauma’s widespread impact
- Understands paths to recovery
- Avoids re-traumatization
- Respects cultural differences
- Empowers the person in treatment
Ask potential providers:
- “Do you have experience with immigration-related trauma?”
- “Are your services available in [language]?”
- “What does trauma-informed care mean to you?”
- “Can you work with undocumented individuals?”
Self-Care Is Survival
Section titled “Self-Care Is Survival”Basic Self-Care Checklist
Section titled “Basic Self-Care Checklist”When you’re in survival mode, even basic tasks feel impossible. Focus on:
- Eat something today (even small amounts)
- Drink water
- Sleep (or rest if you can’t sleep)
- Move your body (even a short walk)
- Go outside (sunlight helps)
- Talk to one person
- Do one small task (make your bed, wash a dish)
After Distressing Episodes
Section titled “After Distressing Episodes”From the NHS Survivors Trust guide:
After flashbacks, panic, or distressing episodes:
- Take a warm bath or shower
- Drink something warm (non-caffeinated)
- Listen to soothing music
- Rest or sleep
- Be gentle with yourself
- Don’t drive or make major decisions immediately
Building Long-Term Resilience
Section titled “Building Long-Term Resilience”Over time, work toward:
- Regular routines: Predictability helps healing
- Physical health: Exercise, nutrition, sleep
- Social connection: Community, friends, support groups
- Meaningful activity: Work, volunteering, hobbies
- Spiritual practices: If meaningful to you
- Limiting stress: Where possible
- Processing emotions: Talking, writing, art, movement
Community Support
Section titled “Community Support”You Are Not Alone
Section titled “You Are Not Alone”Millions of families are affected by immigration enforcement. Connecting with others who understand can provide:
- Validation (“I’m not crazy, others feel this too”)
- Practical advice
- Emotional support
- Hope from seeing others survive and heal
- Power through collective action
Finding Community
Section titled “Finding Community”- Local immigrant rights organizations: Often have support groups
- Religious communities: Churches, mosques, synagogues often support immigrant families
- Online communities: Facebook groups, forums for affected families
- School connections: Other families may be in similar situations
- Workplace support: Some employers have employee assistance programs
Supporting Others While Supporting Yourself
Section titled “Supporting Others While Supporting Yourself”If you’re stable enough to support others:
- Listen without judgment
- Share resources (like this guide)
- Offer practical help (childcare, meals, rides)
- Check in regularly
- Respect their privacy and pace
- Take care of yourself so you can sustain support
A Final Word
Section titled “A Final Word”You are surviving something that no one should have to experience. The fear, the grief, the anger, the confusion—all of it is real and valid.
You are not alone. Millions of families are fighting through this same darkness.
You are stronger than you know. The fact that you’re still here, still trying, still caring for yourself and your family—that is survival. That is strength.
Healing is not linear. There will be good days and terrible days. Progress and setbacks. That’s normal.
One day at a time. One hour at a time if needed. One breath at a time.
You will get through this.
Resources
Section titled “Resources”Mental Health
Section titled “Mental Health”| Resource | Contact |
|---|---|
| National Suicide Prevention Lifeline | 988 |
| Crisis Text Line | Text HOME to 741741 |
| SAMHSA National Helpline | 1-800-662-4357 |
| NAMI Helpline | 1-800-950-6264 |
Immigration Support
Section titled “Immigration Support”| Resource | Link |
|---|---|
| National Child Traumatic Stress Network | nctsn.org |
| Informed Immigrant | informedimmigrant.com |
| Immigrant Defense Project | immigrantdefenseproject.org |
| CLINIC | cliniclegal.org |